Everything you know about making presentations is WRONG!

I am NOT kidding! Seriously? Only exceptions. You are Al Pacino. Bill Clinton or a TED (not X) Speaker. Otherwise you are one of these three types of presenters.

The Murderer

You write slides like it were a thesis for a PhD. You think 2D charts are cool but 3D charts are a whole new level of cutting edge artistry! Your idea of a stellar performance is reading off the slides probably because you think the audience is illiterate retards and wouldn’t be better off just reading your thoughts over an email.  You sense of design is the reason people like Hitler are born!  Default templates are like music to your ears. Your delivery makes you more suitable as a US military drones with you tied to the “package.” Why? Because you are a murderer. You have maimed many a conference attendees with your presence. Guilty as charged!

The Conman

You think you are too cool for PowerPoint. You believing in speaking impromptu. At best you get someone else to writes your slides. You probably have the letter C at the beginning of your title but that’s ok. Are you heading a company with a net worth of about $400 billion? I didn’t think so! Because the last CEO of such a company spent about three days rehersing for a one-hour performance. You think your title will make up for your lack of preparation. You think wrong! Or you are another type of professional who’s title also starts with a letter C. Just because you work in advertising and are the “creative” type you think rehearsals are for losers. You would rather con your way through a presentation with your supposedly “big” ideas. Good Luck!

The Designer

You get PowerPoint for what it’s not. You shun default templates. Each slide is a work of art. You use less words per slide. You could frame each slide and it would make for a good art exhibit. Slideshare would love your deck and would reward you with a “Featured” badge too just to show how much they care. It makes for a great read but it’s only half the job! Your delivery lacks the oomph! What’s worse? The designs come in the way. They distract both you and your audience. You spent all your energy in the designing your slides. The thing that you should be doing last became the only thing you did to prepare for your grand performance. The jury is out! You too have failed my friend.

So what gives me the authority to ridicule you my fellow presenters. Well I have just had an epiphany! What is it? Well you will have to wait for it…it still hasn’t dawned on me yet! (Actually I will be covering that in part two of this blog post…will add link here once it’s ready!) Thank you for reading.

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